nice\ guy

nice\ guy
1. (nice guy) (3797↑, 516↓)
A young male who will give up countless hours of his time listening to the problems of his very attractive female friends because they need someone to talk to about their apathetic, Baywatch jock of a boyfriend because no one else will listen or genuinely care. Although always surrounded by beautiful girls the nice guy can’t get a girlfriend or even facilitate the alleviation of certain “drives” because his “ordinary” physical appearance will forever be compared to the Baywatch beach bum’s. The nice guy would never capitalize on a vulnerable girl, objectify or cheat on a girl, he will go out of his way and bend over backwards to help his “friends” and will never ask for anything in return but no matter how intelligent, understanding, humorous, compassionate, trusting or loyal the nice guy is the female cohort will always pass him up and endure any length of abuse, objectification, apathy and cold-heartedness from a man if he has physical attractiveness, fashion, big muscles and chiseled facial features. The nice guy will eventually realize that his dependability and empathy will never be appreciated and all his friendships with females are all one-sided. This coupled with years of watching girls go for tanned, muscular jerk-offs with nice cars while he desperately hopes someone will realize that how viable he actually is will spawn and incubate the nice guy’s insecurities and he will eventually abandon his views, dumb-down his speech, take-up weight-lifting and switch majors from cancer research with a minor in theoretical physics to playground management so he can devote his time to emulating Baywatch characters and football players so that he will one day be viewed as more than a “nice guy.” The nice guy will eventually work up the courage to ask out his attractive female friend but will invariably be turned down because she’s so self-centered that she’d never actually had a smidgeon of compassion for the nice guy’s feelings or even realized that he’s interested in girls. After rejecting the nice guy, the girl will downplay the supposed friendship to the point where they never speak again, which in turn will make the nice guy depressed (ironically, he won’t have anyone to talk to) because he’s devoted so much time and energy and has become so warped from being exposed to these kinds of people that he will either live the rest of his life alone in a tiny apartment, jerking off to old Saved by the Bell episodes or get drunk one night and impregnate a 300-pound, cross-eyed derelict who works at Wendy’s and spend the rest of his life being treated like shit. The whole ‘nice guy’ phenomenon really supports the idea that people primarily care about physical appearances and that shrewdness, selfishness and narcissism will always triumph over compassion, rapport and “inner beauty.”

"Jeez Patrick, I hope I can find a nice guy like you someday." "Well, if you need me I'll be at home, crying myself to sleep while masturbating to the sound of my 70-year-old neighbors having sex...I might also play some ps2."

2. (nice guy) (2211↑, 464↓)
A male who can't get a girlfriend, never mind get laid, because he DOESN'T treat women like shit.

Bud is a 21 year old vergin because he's a nice guy.

3. (nice guy) (1262↑, 294↓)
A man who you can call late at night just because you're looking for someone to talk to. He would never speak ill of anyone, never harm a person unless absolutely necessary, never cheat and is always honest. Will help you move just because you're friends and doesn't ask for favors in return. Isn't sleazy and wouldn't take advantage of a person in a drunken or mourning state. Often times, this nice guy doesn't have a girlfriend because women usually go for [jerk]s and just make friends with the nice guy.

Pity for him, don't you think?

4. (nice guy) (884↑, 271↓)
A man who has rejected the societal notion of [masculinity] and chosen to define himself from the inside out instead, realising that traits such as empathy and nuturing are not actually limited to the female of the species, and nor are aggression and assertiveness limited to the male. Despite this newfound revelation, however, there is still a strong genetic predisposition for humans to continuously behave as if we were animals seeking out the alpha male with those genes most suited for surviving in a hostile environment. Often times, the average woman, whom society encourages to indulge in her weaknesses and surpress her strengths, is a self-loathing masochist who may appreciate the nice guy's friendship and understanding, but feels no attraction toward him because his insecurities remind her of why she hates herself. Therefore, she almost always seeks the dominant, aggressive, unempathic male with whom she can vicariously live to make up for her weaknesses. Of course, this inidividual, commonly known as a [jerk], is also usually an egotistical, disloyal, and shallow person for whom societal dictates of masculinity will force him to disregard his mate's feelings and treat her as if she were beneath him. Feeling emotionally unsatisfied, the female will then turn to her nice guy friend, whom she has long since castrated, for comfort, and complain to him about how men suck, except for him, and that he deserves a good girlfriend eventually except that it is never her or any other woman he might encounter.

I'm a Nice Guy? Fuck You\!

Author: Killing Kittens http://nice-guy.urbanup.com/1092863
5. (nice guy) (764↑, 195↓)
the person every girl will compare their would-be boyfriends to, for they possess every trait a woman desires. However, for whatever reason, women avoid them like the plague.

"I'd never date Jimmy in a million years, but he sure is a nice guy"

6. (Nice Guy) (524↑, 183↓)
1. The man women call when there bitch-ass boyfriends treat them like shit, but they would never date because they are "too nice." 2. The "real men" who were always there for the women that they love, but always hear the following phrase. "Sure, (insert ex-boyfriend's name here) was a total jerk and cheater, but I wanna give it another try." See [unrequited]. 3. The guy in the office/classroom who catches shit from everybody, but still helps everybody out when they need him. Also, slow to anger.

Girl: I hate(insert ex-boyfriend's name here) because he cheated on me with my mom. Nice Guy:Forget him. Why don't me and you just go out for dinner? Girl: Just as friends, though. I'm gonna give it another try with (insert ex-boyfriend's name here) Nice Guy: *vomits violently* EXAMPLE \#2 Everybody in Office/Classroom: Haha, look at (insert nice guy's name here.) Supervisor/ Teacher: Somebody has to stay late to work on this project. Everybody in Office/ Classroom: *making up various bullshit excuses* Nice Guy: Fine, even though I was supposed to be on a cruise this afternoon, I'll stay late.

Author: Quick Draw McGraw http://nice-guy.urbanup.com/1145856
7. (nice guy) (499↑, 192↓)
always finishes last

nice guys finish last

8. (Nice Guy) (803↑, 546↓)
A badge of martyrdom. Men who spend their most of their time whining about how women “just want to date jerks”. Oblivious to the fact that no one finds people who feel sorry for themselves attractive, much less people who blame others for their lack of success. Most self proclaimed “nice guys” are just as self-centered and misogynistic as the jerks they gripe about, they are just much more spineless. To stupid to figure why women don’t find them attractive, they conclude that in order to get laid they must treat a woman like shit. They tend to befriend women with the expectation that women owe them something more than friendship, then get all pissed off when the women tells them she’s not interested. Often going after women who are already in relationships, they misrepresent their intentions and try to use emotional manipulation and the facade of friendship as an excuse to get closer to them and score with them. The sort of man who will give my definition a thumbs down. :)

Nice Guy: Why don’t women date nice guys like me? Honest Girl: Because, you have no self-esteem and you have to blame other’s for your problems.

9. (nice guy) (404↑, 206↓)
A guy that ultimately could satisfy the sexual needs of women if they were given a chance. women want nice guys but go for the assholes because women are hipocritical and shallow and couldn't even give the nice guys a sympathy fuck.

i was driving my friend and 3 girls around. my friend got action, and the 2 girls did each other while i got nothing and continued to be a taxi driver. true story. i wish i wasn't a nice guy maybe i would get laid at least once.

10. (nice guy) (279↑, 111↓)
A term used by a female for a male she does not find sexually interesting. See also: [friend] or [just a friend]

One of life's great mysteries is how women can simultaneously complain about inconsiderate man-whores and the impossibility of finding a "nice guy", while sitting across from a hetero male friend who also has similar male friends that she has met but declined to date.

11. (nice guy) (222↑, 70↓)
The best kind of guy to date

I dated a nice guy, and it was the best desicision of my life. I'm a woman, and a rather attractive one at that. I used to be the stereotypical cheerleader, you know, with the long blonde hair and more pep than state in space. Anyways, I used to date all the jocks at high school. They were the big manly men, and yes, I had sex with a lot of them. When I was 18, I began strangely feeling slightly disatisfied with my QB BF's. They were the best guys around as my girlfriends would say to me. I had only one male friend who wasn't an athlete I dated or had sex with. I felt like I could tell anything to him. No matter how bad my problems were, he could take them and return a solution to me. Even when grandma died in a car crash, he was there for me. Come to think of it, he really loved me. I feel kinda bad that I didn't realize it at the time. But it doesn't matter now that I'm married to him. He's the kindest, most logical, most loving, best man I could ask for. He said himself that when western civilization comes crashing down, he's going to be holding two things: A gun to protect me in one hand and me in the other. Ladies, if you're reading this, please, for fuck's sakes, actually give nice guy's a fair fighting chance. They won't betray or hurt you. They'll be there for you. They're the most wonderful men ever and I've happy to be married to one.

12. (Nice guy) (286↑, 150↓)
The kind of guy who would always be there for a girl, and would never let her down, cheat on her, treat her like shit, etc. The kind of guy that will actually listen to a girl and her problems, and try to help her. And most of these guys, despite the stereotype, still do stand up for themselves, will NOT let someone push them around, and are NOT wimps. It would seem that girls would race for these kind of guys, but since physical attraction is in truth, just as important to most women as it is to most men, most girls just go for the guy closest to them who acts "tough" and masculine" and is handsome, and will totally ignore the nice guy. And then they'll complain to the nice guy about how they got cheated on and treated like shit, and ask why. Not all girls are like this, but the vast majority, like guys, never dig deeper than the surface and cling on to what they consider "masculine" and go for it.

Nice guy (let's call him N): Hi, I'm always here to help you. Jerk (let's call him J): Hey sexy, I can beat up any fucker that messes with me\! Blind (mentally, not physically, and let's call her B) girl: Oooh\! Hey, J\! That is sooooo sexy\! J: Tight. Let's get wild. ---two days later----- N: So what exactly happened to you? B: *sniff* he cheated on me, and then called me a stubborn bitch\! N: Awww, that jerk. Well don't worry, you can always talk to me. B: thank you *sniff* N: So do you want to hang out sometime? B: Sorry I got a date with this other guy, who is really hot, and- N: Oh great, thanks for returning the favor. B: Anytime\! Bye\! N: Wait a minute\! Oh shit, she hung up. ***Girls, please give nice guys a chance, or this scenario will keep happening\!\!\!****

13. (nice guy) (264↑, 143↓)
Living proof that human evolution has yet to progress to the point where the female's genes have been reprogrammed to finally ignore the primitive and obsolete alpha male and expand their sexual relations to the more intelligent and advanced beta male. This is why 21st century women are still compelled to be sexually attracted to aggressive assholes who treat them like crap instead of reserved guys who treat them with dignity and respect, e.g. nice guys. As a result, nice guys are normally single because women are naturally repelled by them.

Women like nice guys, but won't date them.

14. (nice guy) (227↑, 110↓)
A form of [Man] that leads a lonely life and never gets cut a break. Often dies with virginity intact.

I know Colin, he's a nice guy.

15. (nice guy) (214↑, 103↓)
someone who is very sweet and does things for someone else even if it is a draw back for theirselves.

He's a very nice guy.

Author: Im not really sure what my name is at the moment.. http://nice-guy.urbanup.com/300060
16. (nice guy) (245↑, 135↓)
a strait man who has gay man relationships with women

hes a nice guy, he does everything for girls and gets nothing in return

Author: ultimateniceguy http://nice-guy.urbanup.com/1104037
17. (nice guy) (147↑, 60↓)
A man who always gets screwed by a chick but never gets laid.

Dude \#1: Damn, Cynthia went out to dinner with me, talked about her problems, then got back with her crappy ex. Dude \#2: Thats what you get for being a nice guy: Always screwed, never laid.

18. (nice guy) (145↑, 68↓)
Some poor bastard who gets close to the beautiful girl of his dreams and endures a painfully platonic relationship with her, always there to help her like a demented puppy-dog, in the delusional hope that they may progress to something more. Of course, sometimes he loses his control and blurts out to his ladyfriend that he loves her, only to be told that she wants to be just friends and not ruin the relationship. Sometimes he loses his virginity, sometimes not (though if he does it's with an equally insecure and rejected girl). Unfortunately, thanks to society's useless teachings, most men fit into this category.

I used to be a nice guy. It sucked. The nice guy saga concludes to me that women are incredibly stupid. And men are unbelievably pathetic. Tony Blair is a nice guy. His relationship with Bush is totally platonic, though he wishes it was something more.

19. (Nice Guy) (133↑, 59↓)
1. A manipulative male that forms friendships with females under the false pretense that it won't be a sexual relationship. All the while actually lusting after the female. He is then generally confused as to why the female goes after males that are open about their desires, and blames the female when it is his own fault for creating a friendship when he really wanted to date her. 2. The guy that's always there for his friends.

1. "Jim's such a nice guy, he tried to get into my pants after telling me he just wanted to be friends." 2. "Alex came through real good tonight." "Yeah, I can't believe he bailed us all out, how much was it total $400?"

20. (nice guy) (83↑, 23↓)
The guy who will listen to a womans problems, support her through hard times and help her do anything she needs help with. The guy who will break his back just to make somebody happy. That's a nice guy. And a REAL nice guy doesn't give a shit if he gets to go out with women or have sex with them, he's there for them because he wants to try and make them happy. One who expects to be rewarded sexually is no more then another fool.

Brian's a nice guy. He's not a jerk to anyone, he listens to womens problems, he tries to make his friends happy by helping them out, and he doesn't expect any kind of reward for it.

21. (nice guy) (126↑, 71↓)
A guy who always gets the short end of the stick and "finishes" last and is often overlooked by women and never really appreciated by the woman of his interest, no matter what he does. Women don’t often think of him as being much more than just a good friend; they only rely on him to listen to their problems or to hang out with, but would never consider dating him. He has a hard time getting a girlfriend because, God forbid, he has average looks with an average physique, and she would rather date a handsome dumb jock with a nice car, who treats her terribly, than to date an average guy. He frequently gets rejected by women because they are driven by their self-centeredness and superficiality, and don’t realize that he is the man of her dreams and right in front of her. In his childhood he was probably one of the last kids to be picked on the team to play kickball when he was a good player. And he may have even been bullied as a kid. The nice guy is probably a lonely person who just wants to fall in love and get married like everyone else, but for some reason women and people miss out on who he is. As a result of his lonliness and his natural need for sex and intimacy and relationships, he will get off on himself, only wishing he could share his life and body with the woman of his dreams. He probably has a lot of lonely nights, and the only time a woman sleeps with him or ever finds him attractive is because she is drunk. The nice guy will genuinely go out of his way to help the girl he has an interest in, but in the end his favors are disregarded. A nice guy always finishes last after bullies, jocks, jerks and rich guys. Evidently, his trustworthiness, honesty and commitment are only secondary to looks, money, and materialism. The interesting thing is that when women get depressed and stressed out being involved with the bad men, they always come back to the nice guy to help them.....until the process starts over again. And then, after decades of being in bad relationships, these same women are all-of-sudden 60-yrs old and single or divorced and wonder why they couldn’t find true love and the man of their dreams, when he was under their nose the whole time.

Basically, a nice guy is the worst insult a guy can receive by the girl he is interested in. It means “you are good enough to talk to and to get to know on a superficial basis out of convenience, but not good enough to get to know on a deeper level or to date.” When the girl I liked talked about me and said I was a “nice guy” to her female friends, I knew my chances of dating her were minute. Being called a “nice guy” is anything but a complement and makes me feel sad.

22. (nice guy) (134↑, 83↓)
The type of man preferred by normal, psychologically healthy women, such as those who inhabit places like Asia, Latin America, and Eastern Europe. However, the nice guy gets little play from modern Western women, due to them being deranged, mentally ill skanks who enjoy being used and abused by creeps and players.

Nice guys *do* get laid--just not by mentally ill skanks like most modern Western women are.

Author: sfgnjhsyjnwsrtjhnawr http://nice-guy.urbanup.com/4264803
23. (nice guy) (109↑, 66↓)
A misnomer. Nice Guy is nice with an ulterior motive; he believes pretending to be a decent human being entitles him to endless sex with his unfortunate female target. Instead of openly expressing interest and then moving on if rejected, the Nice Guy prefers to attach himself like a barnacle to one woman, hoping that if he pretends to care about her feelings long enough, he'll get at least an awkward handjob in the bathroom. Nice Guy is then bewildered when acting like a friend results in his getting treated like a friend. The advanced-level Nice Guy will call his lady of choice a frigid bitch while simultaneously patting himself on the back for being so nice. Nice Guy fails to understand that acting nice in hopes of getting sex is not actually the same as being nice, and as a result can be found in his natural habitat martyring himself all over the internet.

If women really only dated assholes, then "Nice Guys" would have no problems getting women.

24. (nice guy) (133↑, 97↓)
1. A guy who might very well get laid a ton but will never pleasure fuck someone he knows is vulnerable. A nice guy is just as capable of casual sex as anyone else but he'll give you the heads up. 2. A guy who is usually very handsome and secure enough about himself to empathize with women. He might have problems fitting in for not betraying his values but he persists. 3.A man often derided by ugly jocks and stupid girls who equate the presence of empathy in a person with an absence of confidence. 4. A very cool, profound man who often possesses great artistic gifts. He may grow up to be a rockstar and laugh in the faces of the petty little shitheads who teased him for not fitting in. 5. A man who will kick your ass just as fast as any other if you mess with him but would not dare hit his wife or girlfriend.

That cool rocker was a nice guy who was opposed to sexism with a passion. I'll be damned if he didn't kick that jock shithead's ass though...

25. (nice guy) (301↑, 270↓)
Insecure men who are generally useless at everything, which is why they don't get girls. If a man is smart, confident, good-looking, ambitious, witty, AND nice, will he be called 'a nice guy'? No. He'll be called cute, or sexy, or any of a number of positive terms. The 'nice guy' tag is left as a consolation prize for those useless bastards whose only redeeming quality is their niceness. These guys can't make women feel special (apart from being an emotional tampon), don't have the confidence or style to show that they're able and talented, and don't have any touch of charm or wit. In short, they can't really compete with other men because they're too hesitant and insecure. Thus, they deliberately pander to attractive women whom they put on a pedestal, not out of genuine concern for women as friends, but because they secretly want some, and this is the only way in which they can really try and get some. But women can smell this, so they tag them as nice guys: the perfect friends, and the worst of all possible lovers (serial killers aside).

Woman 1: That John, he's a nice guy and all, but... Woman 1's friends all giggle in shared understanding.

26. (nice guy) (45↑, 18↓)
A man, usually single, whose strategy to attract women is pandering and false. He can be recognized when he fits a pattern of using friendship as a pretense to demonstrate his niceness and then resenting her for not becoming attracted to him after he does so.

I thought he was a nice guy before he started acting like of those inter-city window washers: doing 'nice' things I didn't ask for then feeling entitled to being paid. No way I'm fucking that creep.

27. (nice guy) (46↑, 25↓)
The nice guy is the tragic hero in relationships: He's the one that will stand by a woman all his life, despite the fact the woman will never care for him the way he does for her. She will bitch to him about her failing conquests, use him as a makeshift therapist and shun his efforts to initiate a relationship. Whilst she continues to live in sin the guy will beat himself up over why he has not been able to maintain a relationship, continually asking why his efforts are in vain and why women no longer appreciate gentlemen. When the woman is finally ready to settle down she will crawl back to the nice guy, knowing that he will accept her despite everything because he would do anything for her. Eventually the nice guy realises that his love life has been a hollow victory, and that he would have been better off as the shallow, arrogant jerks the woman pursued in the first place. Sucks doesn't it... Gentlemen have become a dying breed, because women are not prepared to save them.

Girl 1: All I'm looking for is a nice guy who actually cares about me... Girl 2: Sure, whatever you say there...

28. (Nice guy) (83↑, 62↓)
The guy that is too big of a pussy to actually ask a girl he likes out on a date. He will often pine over a girl for month, possibly years while she dates guy after guy that the nice guy hates. When ever the girl bitches he is there to comfort her in hopes that one day she see him for someone she could be with. In reality this will never happen. The nice guy is just a friend and always will be so until one day he decides one of two things. He realizes he will never have the girl he wants and moves on to another girl, or he actually tells the girl about how he loves her and she turns him down. If the latter happends the friendship also dies. Turned down or ignored the Nice guys just thinks to himself that girls just go for assholes. In reality its not that the girl is attracted to assholes. Yes sometimes it just that. But in most the girl is attracted to a confident, interesting person who actually has the balls to pursue a realationship and ask her out from the start.

Nice guy: I really like stacy but it seems she is only attracted to assholes. Stacy's boyfriend: No dude you're just a pussy.

29. (nice guy) (107↑, 86↓)
Technically a human, but more accurately described as a device. This item is used by women to housesit or catsit while they are away, help them move, help them with difficult subjects at university and to provide a shield against the unwanted advances of other males. They can also be used in a pinch as a default date for social gatherings such as company parties and weddings. Despite seeing obvious merit in this person, the female of the species will never date them or have physical contact with them. Neither will they introduce them to their friends because a) see above and b) they'd hate to find out they made a mistake and overlooked someone suitable. The female of the species will always refer to them as 'friends'. Note this species is rapidly becoming extinct, as the futility of being a nice guy becomes more and more obvious.

You are a nice guy, but Cheri lives about three hours away and there's no point in you calling her. By the way, can I see your algebra assignment?

30. (Nice guy) (41↑, 22↓)
A nice guy who is someone who will repeatedly tell the girl of his wanting that is is kind and respectful of her feelings. In reality he is the opposite. He is only doing this to get you defences down. Nice guy will repeatedly try to get into your pants, or throw a fit if you don't do what he wants. If you were to ever call him out on his immature behavior he would look shocked and say "I'm a nice guy I wouldn't do that." I nice guy doesn't want to be your friend, he doesn't want anything other then for you to be his girlfriend so he wouldn't have to feel bad about himself. Most NICE GUYS are selfish creepy jerks, who don't know what I just want to be friends, mean. Remember Guys: Nice guys don't need to remind people that they are nice and respectful. Telling people that your a nice guy is pretty much like someone saying no offence but....

NICE GUY:*leans in for a kiss* Girl: What are you doing. I said thought that we were just friends. NICE GUY: But I'm a nice guy, I'm not going to hurt you. Girl: Dude? Seriously? A nice guy doesn't need to remind the girl his with that he is a nice guy. Please leave.

31. (nice guy) (93↑, 76↓)
A nice guy who always gets screwed at the end.

A nice guy whos friend is a girl who you happen to like talks about her problems but still stays with the douche bag shes going out with.

32. (nice guy) (32↑, 16↓)
An unattractive, emotionally stunted straight male who whines to female friends and dates, "Girls only like assholes. They don't like nice guys like me." Unlike genuinely kind and intelligent men, who easily find themselves in serious relationships, a "nice guy" wards women off with his abrasive personality, self-pity, and/or slovenly appearance, and blames his sexual rejection on the failings of womankind, while simultaneously imagining himself as nothing but God's gift to them. "If only those dumb bitches knew that I'd treat them right\!" Once in a relationship, a "nice guy" tends to either be verbally abusive or extremely clingy and overbearing.

Go into any mixed group of friends. Say that the statement "girls don't like nice guys" is false. The first guy to cry, "But it's true\!" is always the most unattractive person in the group, without fail.

33. (Nice Guy) (50↑, 37↓)
A Nice Guy is a guy who is friendly, kind, and understanding toward girls with the underlying condition that they must fall in love with him because he is the only friendly, kind and understanding man they've ever met. Nice Guys think that acting like a decent person makes them special and entitled to women's romantic affections and sex. They believe that women have no minds or emotions of their own, and that they exist solely to reciprocate the affection of whichever man 'deserves' them. They will often try to guilt women into going out with and having sex with them. If and when a woman rejects a Nice Guy, he will whine and moan and complain that girls are stupid and don't know what's good for them, and only like jerks that won't respect them or their feelings. Nice Guys invariably fail to see the irony in this. Not to be confused with an actual nice guy (no capital letters\!), a guy who is kind and decent without the underlying expectation that women are obligated to sleep with him or return whatever romantic affections he might have toward them.

Nice Guy: I'm so sorry that happened to you, here, go ahead and cry on my shoulder. Girl: Thanks, you've really made me feel better. You're such a good friend. Nice Guy: Great, now let me take you out to dinner and have a romantic evening ended with sex and marriage. Girl: Sorry, I'm not really interested in you that way. Nice Guy: Fuck you, you cold bitch. You're so stupid, why can't you see that I deserve you? After all the nice things I've done for you, you owe it to me to fall in love with me. Fine, I guess I just have to keep harrassing you and trying to guilt you into going out with and having sex with me.

34. (Nice Guy) (60↑, 47↓)
A Nice Guy is a young or middle-aged male who believes a woman owes it to sleep with him out of gratitude for basic courtesy, like opening a door or not calling her names. Believes only men who look like Abercrombie & Fitch models or possess immense fortunes ever get laid -- or at least, he keeps saying that in order to feel like there are more womanless men out there than there really are. Routinely blames women for his inability to develop and sustain relationships; or to get to a third date even. Frequently tells himself and other Nice Guys that women like to be beaten, raped and called names -- and that's why they (the Nice Guys), cannot get dates. Hides violent pornography under the floor boards. Faced with the fact that none of the women he finds attractive want to date him, concludes that there must be something wrong with women.

Joe is a nice guy, he deserves to get laid\!

35. (nice guy) (16↑, 4↓)
Nice Guys (TM) are the guys that make a point of announcing themselves as "nice", and who whine about never getting laid. Many of the other definitions were written by "Nice Guys". They're not. They think they're entitled to sex just because they hold open a door once in a while. They're unsure of themselves to the point they can't manage a declarative sentence. They think strumming guitar makes them deep and they can't understand why it hasn't turned them into a pussy magnet. They are, almost without fail, sexist but tell themselves they're not because, of course, they're a Nice Guy. They tell themselves "nice guys don't get ahead" as an excuse for their own failings. They wrongly believe that women only like jerks, and are deeply bitter about it. Most women do not like jerks. Women really do like nice guys. But a nice guy is NOT the dude playing gentleman so he can be rewarded with head. The real nice guys -the ones women really do want to date and fuck -are the ones who are genuinely decent human beings. Guys who make a point of calling themselves Nice Guys do not generally fall under this category. And they wonder why they aren't getting any ladies? So, you fucking internet whiners, how about instead of pissing and moaning about how women never see what a great fella you are and take your pants off all because you took them shopping (you charmer, you\!) you actually put some effort into being a real, live nice person instead of a Nice Guy (TM) ?

"Man, ladies only like jerks\! I totally took this smokin' hot piece of ass -er, I mean, young lady -out for coffee that one time and didn't even suggest she skip the whipped cream so she could keep from getting fat, and she STILL would rather go out with the dude that treats her like a human being\! Nice guys just finish last, I guess."

36. (Nice guy) (23↑, 15↓)
A person of the male variety that has no personality of his own, and makes up for it by giving a girl compliments until she, hopefully, at some point in the distant future, may give him a disinterested hand-job while watching Grey's Anatomy. Not to be confused with a [Genuine Guy], the nice guy may give off the appearance of understanding, so that a mentally unstable girl (Probably with an eating disorder or depression) feels like she can trust in him. He sometimes likes to pretend that he has a deep and meaningful side to him in order to get a girl to feel sympathy for him. Note: On many occasions, a nice guy may seem like he's trying to do what's best for the Girl. This is false. When a nice guy says "You shouldn't be dating X, he's not any good for you", what he is not trying to get you to make the right choice. He's trying to get in your pants, and he's using the lowest possible way of doing so: Deception. The main difference between normal guys and nice guys is that a normal guy will say what he thinks, whereas a nice guy will say whatever will make a girl the happiest. In short: If you're a girl, avoid them like the plague. If you ARE a nice guy, harden the fuck up and form a personality of your own.

When a guy likes a girl: Normal guy: "Hey, want to go out on a date?" Nice guy: "I love you, I'll only ever be happy if you're with me, so if you don't go out with me I'll kill myself\!" (Note: Some guy actually used that last line on my girlfriend. What's even more depressing is that she fell for it)

37. (Nice guy) (47↑, 41↓)
heterosexual version of the gay friend; i.e. the funny, cultured, witty lad a woman hangs out with until she falls for an arsehole she's actually attracted to.

Jessica: So, what did you do over the week-end\!? Stephanie: Not much; you know; just hanged out with Ben. Was fun actually... Jessica; Hello\!\!?? You\!? and Ben\!? fun week-end\!\!?? Is there anything I should know here\!\!?? Stephanie: Come on\!\!\! Ben and I are like best buddies\!\!\! He's such a nice guy...Nway, sleeping over at Brian's tonight, so off to waxing. He's such an arsehole\!

38. (nice guy) (6↑, 1↓)
There are nice guys, and there are "nice guys". The latter believe that there are only 2 ways to be male: to be either a "macho man" (misogynistic, narcissistic, aggressive jerkoff) or a "nice guy" (misogynistic, narcissistic, passive-aggressive jerkoff, but also manipulative and spineless). They believe that talking to a woman for five seconds without saying "shut up bitch" means that they're a paragon of everything women want and are thus automatically owed pussy. When they're denied it, it's the woman's failing. Although they see themselves as having no self-esteem, in reality they actually view themselves as better than "macho men" and when women reject them clearly said women have been lying when they say they want a "nice guy". They thus try and turn into the macho jerks they claim to despise because that's what women "actually want". Never does it occur to them that 1) they're not actually very nice 2) by and large women don't want macho jerks, they're just less annoying than "nice guys" 3) there’s a third option: being an ACTUALLY nice guy. Someone who DOESN'T try and screw with women's heads, someone who has ACTUAL respect for women rather than just tries a different dishonest tactic to get laid, and someone who has the guts to be honest about what they want and the spine to suck it up when they don't get it rather than whining about how dreadful women are and getting gradually more bitter and hateful.

Nice guy: I'm such a nice guy, why don't girls want me? They say they want nice guys\! But they go out with macho jerks\! Or they dump me for them\! They're all lying bitches who break your heart\! Actually nice guy: Arrogant, misogynistic, whiny - what woman WOULDN'T want you?

39. (Nice Guy) (2↑, 0↓)
A man who places women on a pedestal and thinks that because he is nice to a woman is "owed" some form of attention or love. Often clingy. When relationships fails, blames women for not liking "nice guys" instead of realizing his behavior and pedestal-placing is what gets him rejected.

See other examples of "Nice Guy" that take a sympathetic view.

40. (nice guy) (1↑, 0↓)
the hardest to find, but greatest to have

girl: did you see HSM, troy is truly a nice guy girl2:if only we could find a nice guy like him

41. (Nice Guy) (14↑, 14↓)
The male counterpart to the neighborhood whore. Where the neighborhood whore trades sex hoping for companionship and rarely gets it, he trades companionship for sex and rarely gets it. Alot of women see nice guys as closet misogynist and stalkers. That's really just because after getting used by women as doormats they start hating women, similar to how the neighborhood whore becomes a lesbian in the near future.

The US government needs to pay pimps to run rehabilitation centers for nice guys.

42. (Nice guy) (10↑, 16↓)
something that doesnt exist

nice guy? never gonna happen

Author: someoneyoureallydontknow http://nice-guy.urbanup.com/5241556
43. (Nice Guy) (16↑, 23↓)
See [Virgin]

p1: Your a nice guy, ya know\! p2: Fuck You.

44. (nice guy) (30↑, 38↓)
a young man who is selfless, caring and rejects dominance and machismo

If he were a nice guy maybe she would listen.

Author: The Return of Light Joker http://nice-guy.urbanup.com/3028271
45. (Nice guy) (21↑, 33↓)
There for girls who prefer to get slapped around by jocks and jerks and mistreated than to be treated right by a nice guy. Note: the nice guy usually doesn't have the "hot" looks and body the girls are looking for. And the extreme charism and charm.

Hey, (insert a jocky boyfriend's name), come and screw me over instead; I don't wanna hang out with a Nice Guy who will treat me right forever\! Hey so you cheated on me, Brian? Cool I'll give you another chance. Better than the nice guy who never cheats right? "Why can't he respect me for who I am once in a while\!" yelled the cheerleader. Mr. Nice Guy, standing beside her, decided to comfort her and said, "It's okay. There are a lot more guys out there who are better than him. You deserve better. " "Screw that, I'll give him another chance. After all, he DID do some nice things to me. Someone who respects everyone for who they are, like you NG, is not someone who I deserve to spend my entire life with." (Sarcasm intended)

46. (nice guy) (129↑, 144↓)
Nice Guy 1. Term commonly used for self-description by men who routinely fail to capture the interest of any women. The name is a misnomer because typically these men fail to exhibit any attitudes or behaviors that would distinguish them as "nice". These men are the lifeblood of the mail order bride industry. Characteristics include: -Lack of any backbone or moral fiber that would allow them to even consider that perhaps their own faults and shortcomings are the root of their problems -Bitterness and self-pity that is expressed by pronouncing all women idiots who would rather date jerks -delusions of grandeur/revenge fantasies in which at age 40-50 they will suddenly become irresistible to 20-something Angelina Jolie (except hotter)look-alikes while all the women who rejected them decades earlier will be single and living with 200 cats.

I'm 35 years old and still living at home, I have no life, and the only girlfriend I've ever had is made out of plastic, but women don't want me because I'm such a nice guy.

47. (nice guy) (1↑, 18↓)
Guys who treat women nicely but never get girl friends because all girls like jerk guys. Contrary to other beliefs this is a not a negative thing because the nice guy will use this to his advantage as he will have more money for himself because some girl is not taking it all and when the nice guy is living "nicely" with a big house and nice car, women are going to wish that hadn't treated the nice guy mean. So all in all, being a nice guy isn't a bad because you will have what matters in the end, MONEY\!

Johnny- Hey look at jacob, he is a nice guy to all the girls but he will never lose his virginity because girls wont date him. Robby- I like his style, he's going to have lots of money later in life cause he didnt waste it on bitches

48. (Nice guy) (27↑, 46↓)
A man who you can absoulutely fall in love with. Someone who will appreciate you intirely and love you more than you will ever know. A man who, despite any of his downfalls, he is so genuine that any intellegent person would never let him go. ( like I wont\!) The nice guys, may not be the strongest, or most good looking, but his character says volumes about him. You can appreciate him entirely, because he will do no less. Some may say that, " Nice guys finnish last." It's there only down fall. A nice guy is so rare a find that not everyone can appreciate him. The perfect pair for a nice guy is a beautiful lady.

A [Gentalman] who acts as if you are the love of his life from the first time he meets you. He feels a need to make you smile or hold you when you are sad. He wants to be your everything, and if you let him, the nice guy can be just that.

49. (Nice Guy) (37↑, 63↓)
A fuck up to the highest degree, probably an even less desirable title than that of the "loser". An 11 on the creep scale. He always seems to have a giant smile on his face... and is TOO FUCKING NICE\! A nice guy is a mysogynic creep that just wants to get some and could never be satisfied with a platonic relationship with a woman, let alone a casual conversation with one. And uses the only positive trait, being nice, to attempt to bed women. In which case will never happen. Actually, like when ur in class you are in dire need of a pencil, dont barrow from the nice guy, he's going to smile at you, give it to you, and then say to himself, "OH BABY YOU ARE THE ONE, AWWW HO HO MARRRRRY MEEEEE\!" Uh... yeaaaaahhh. Eat shit and die. A nice guy absoulity has to have pussy. Actually one time I got so stoned, I saw what the fourth layer of a nice guy, he kinda looked like gollum from the lord of the rings and kept saying he needed pussy over and over. Yah, it was pretty gey. A nice guy defines himself as a guy that can't get a girlfriend becase he doesn't treat women like shit. Which is totally wrong because in fact women love men with manners. They just hate creeps that "coincidently" know their name already, and just so happen to be at the same place as them... always. In my opinion, nice guys are gey. You don't want to be a nice guy. If you were titled a nice guy by a woman, then you have failed. Here's my smith and wesson, you know what you have to do. Now you know what a nice guy is. It's actually pretty awful if you ask me.

Jessie: That nice guy with the top hat and over coat that wanders around in the park is sure a creep. He kept saying he needed pussy. What the fuck is his problem? Oh, and my girlfriend was sitting next to happen and he started being nice to her, and she's like totally boyfriend bomed him. Beverly: "Yeah, the weather sure is nice, my BOYFRIEND brought me here to feed the geese.

50. (nice guy) (32↑, 61↓)
A young male who will give up countless hours listening to the problems of his very attractive female friends who talk about their apathetic, Baywatch jock of a boyfriend because he actually believes listening and genuinely caring is going to eventually get him laid. Although always surrounded by beautiful girls, the nice guy can’t get a girlfriend or even facilitate the alleviation of certain “drives” because he himself will always compare his “ordinary” physical appearance to the Baywatch beach bum’s. The nice guy would never capitalize on a vulnerable girl, objectify or cheat on a girl, he will go out of his way and bend over backwards to help his “friends” and will never ask for anything in return but no matter how intelligent, understanding, humorous, compassionate, trusting or loyal the nice guy is. The female cohort will always pass him up and endure any length of abuse, objectification, apathy and cold-heartedness from a man if he has physical attractiveness, fashion, big muscles and chiseled facial features because for her it's better than dealing with a man that will grovel at her feet when she tries to break up with him because he doesn't understand how pathetic and transparent appeasement really is. The nice guy will eventually realize that his dependability and empathy will never be appreciated and all his friendships with females are all one-sided long before he realizes that putting up the effort to deal with a shallow, materialistic bitch is worth even so much as one ounce of his time and energy. After rejecting the nice guy, the girl will never even think about dating a nice guy in the future, which in turn will make the every other nice guy on the planet feel even more depressed because they all devote so much time and energy to being exactly what many other shallow, materialistic bitches know how to avoid men who are warped from being exposed to rejection they'll never understand to the point that he will either live the rest of his life alone in a tiny apartment, jerking off to old Saved by the Bell episodes or get drunk one night and impregnate a 300-pound, cross-eyed derelict who works at Wendy’s and spend the rest of his life being treated like shit. The whole ‘nice guy’ phenomenon really supports the idea that nice guys primarily notice the physical appearances of other men and become insanely jealous to the point where they believe shrewdness, selfishness and narcissism will always triumph over compassion, rapport and “inner beauty” because they never realize they are driving these women straight into the arms of these assholes, usually because they don't understand that always being nice makes every nice act completely meaningless and disgenuine for a woman because that's all they do 24/7.

"Jeez Patrick, I hope I can find a nice guy like you someday." "Well, if you need me I'll be at home, crying myself to sleep while masturbating to the sound of my 70-year-old neighbors having sex while playing some ps2 because all I know how to do is be a sickly sweet doormat and feel sorry for myself. Please love me with your pity."

51. (Nice Guy) (12↑, 44↓)
What All Guys Want To Be.. Wat Most Guys Think They Are. But Actually Aren't. There Is Not Many Genuinely Nice Guys And If There Is, They Already Have "Nice" Girlfriends That End Up Treating Them Nasty. They Would Give Up Anything For Thier Friends & Family. It Can Also Be Wat Guys Start Out As But Then Never End Up As, Cuz They "Can't Be Bothered Anymore"

Girl: " U Would Never Hurt Me Would U," Guy: "Of Course Not Im A Nice Guy Trust Me," 5 Days Later Dude Cheats On Girl..

52. (nice guy) (18↑, 50↓)
A girlfriend with a penis. A guy who is treated by the many girls that they are friends with as simply a platonic relationship partner.

Girl 1: Thats John, hes my BFF\!\!\! John: *Deep Sigh*... yeah, thats right *Girls secretly laugh at him later for being such a nice guy*

Author: Keifer Jennings http://nice-guy.urbanup.com/2078733
53. (Nice guy) (49↑, 85↓)
A guy whose girlfriend slept with eight different guys during their relationship still cannot treat her like a whore or sleep with any other girls just for his sexual need because he can feel guilty when treating woman like shit.

W: Then he tried to engage an non-serious relationship with his ex but he cant do it. After all that girl did to him he still cant use her just for his need. M: You mean he still has feeling toward her? W: No. I mean he is a nice guy.

54. (nice guy) (9↑, 46↓)
A nice guy is loving,careing thats there for her in the time of need and repects her but in the end it.women that go out with nice guys will suck the life out of you and take your money. nice guys when are you going to wake up a stop feeling sorry about your self being nice will only give you heart break and pain and being used because women see you as being weak

nice guy saying:am a nice guy. girl saying:your sweet i just want to be friends (she thinking) do have money

Author: greenshadowblue http://nice-guy.urbanup.com/3363807
55. (nice guy) (34↑, 75↓)
Commonly referred to as an "average frustrated chump". A man that due to his stubborn kindness to everyone fails to get any respect as he never complains about the treatment he gets from women and thus lacks a backbone. Lacking the principle of discipline his offspring, if any, will grow up to be assholes due to the way the nice guy rewards bad behaivor. The easiest way to have this paradox of the nice guy / jerk be defeated would be to have women stop acting like nice guys and dump jerks rather than reward bad behaivor with sex.

Wow. He is such a nice guy, buying me flowers, taking me out to dinner and paying the tab, listening to my problems, helping me out with my car, and asking for nothing in return. He sometimes asks for sex but doesn't get it and does favors for me anyway. What a tool\!

56. (nice guy) (61↑, 110↓)
The pansy that has been raised to treat women with "respect" and "dignity" and feels obliged that the woman owes him a relationship in return. Most likely the girl will say, "You're a nice guy, etc..." and he will be relegated to puppy love flirting and countless hours of masturbation using his tears as lubrication. He will then become so pissed off, he will rant about how women don't see him for what he is and that all us bad boys get the women. Ultimately the nice guy will try to become a "bad boy" himself but just be made a fool of himself by girls that see him attempting to hide his insecurites, forcing him to revert back to his nice guy ways and the cycle starts all over again.

Hot Latina Chick - John is such a nice guy\! He sees me for who I am and is always there for me\! Bad Boy - Would you fuck him? Hot Latina Chick - Oh, God no\! This is all yours. Grow some balls, nice guys\! Don't put the pussy on a pedastal\!

57. (Nice Guy) (55↑, 114↓)
A person who never gets the girl, always finishes last, and most importantly, doesn't play Rock N' Roll.

Nice boys don't play rock n' roll

58. (Nice guy) (20↑, 88↓)
A male that is practically busted in every way except for his kindness.Equivelent of a fat chick,He tries to impress women by acting like a bad boy,but the women see through him because he doesn't have the physical assets of the bad boys,he tries to dress and act like them but realizes that he only looks stupid and also realizes that you can't polish a turd.A nice guy trying to be a bad-boy by dressing and acting like them is like trying to put high performance parts on a Yugo it only makes it look stupid.He only gets promises of relationships from fat300 lb.,bald ugly chicks that can't get anybody else,or just gets used by even average looking women let alone attractive women,he always has too high of standards.He then realizes that it's not what's on the inside that matters,It's what's on the outside.So the only way a nice guy can have success with attractive women is if he hits the lottery or gets plastic surgery,but then again you have to hit the lottery to be able to have the plastic surgery that you need to be attractive enough.So he ends up dying alone and broke.

nice guy-So how was the date.Attractive girl-I'll call you.He thinks he's in but he was out before the date even started she just went out on a date out of pity.

59. (nice guy) (43↑, 112↓)
A nice guy is the no-in between guy. He is either bald or so exceptionally hairy that he creates shade like a willow tree. He may be shaped like Baby Hughey or thinner than a crack whore (although he will neither use crack or be a whore since he's a nice guy.) In fact they are often virgins (naturally or born again) and volunteer time and funds to drug rehabiliation and other noteworthy programs. The nice guy may have impaired vision and wear thick glasses that create the highly undesirable affects of a funhouse mirror.Other nice guys may have excellent vision in their eyes that bulge, wander or cry frequently. The NICE GUY makes an excellent friend as he picks up tabs, earns trust, runs errands, rarely complains, watches chick flicks, rubs your feet, accepts collect calls, posts bail, and holds a steady job. He is however, unworthy of being kissed or touched in a romantic way - because you can treat the Nice guy anyway you wish and he will accept you with open arms. There is no need to praise, or show positive emotion or affection toward the nice guy... he's loyal as a pooch.

Nice Guy: "We've been friends for a long time now - and I feel really close to you..." Woman: (immediately interrupts to break his heart) "You're a NICE GUY... but I don't want to ruin our friendship"

60. (nice guy) (25↑, 98↓)
1. The types of guys girls always equate into [pussies] (or a [pussy]), as they compensate for its lack of looks with dedication, knowledge and sincerity.

Girl 1: Look at that guy over there\! He's cute. :) Girl 2: Nah. He's a nice guy. And you do know what nice guys are? [PUSSIES]\!

61. (Nice Guy) (37↑, 117↓)
A man wasting his penis. He'll never get any pussy, of any kind (unless he rapes the chick). He's never seen breasts outside of the internet. He's a blackened husk of a man, and a worthless heap of dust. This is the kind of guy women just love to hate. This is the kind of guy who thinks he's getting somewhere with a woman, but is actually nothing more than "Friend" material to any being wielding a vagina. He pines over the girl, and when he doesn't get her, he claims to all of his friends that he's dating her, or is in the "process of", which basically means he's stalking her. He has pictures of her sleeping on his walls, hes got shrines and shit, and he whacks off to her image. Nightly.

That nice guy wont stop calling me, and hes knocking at my front door.

Author: Landon Flanagan http://nice-guy.urbanup.com/2135441
62. (nice guy) (17↑, 106↓)
a guy, usually bisexual or homosexual, who will swallow semen when someone ejaculates into his mouth.

Bad guys suck. I'm a nice guy.

63. (nice guy) (69↑, 160↓)
A extinct sort of male human characterized by kindness, caring, and finishing last. Some claim to have seen or even met a nice guy, but experts agree that they died out many years ago.

Too bad there aren't any nice guys any more.

64. (nice guy) (56↑, 176↓)
Nice guys are covert bastards who are just waiting for opportunities to destroy women. Their feigned niceness is just that - feigned. This does not apply to homosexual nice guys who are, in reality, nice. The source of this discrepancy is not known. For women, nice guys are best handled by using what little they have to offer, and then having nothing more to do with them. Their wisdom, principles and sober thinking are valuable at certain times, and their feigned niceness makes them easy to talk to. However, women are advised not to offer anything more than friendship to them. Apart from these aspects, nice guys offer precious little to society. In fact, they are causing the deterioration of Western society with their faggy books, computers and telescopes. Haha, telescopes. They possess inferior genes in comparison to Real Men (TM). Nice guys are inherently unable to provide a woman with a good hard fucking, because just look at them. They're too nice.

Things nice guys may (or may not) say: 1. Haha, just LOOK at that skinny guy. HEY, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? YOU WANT YOUR ASS KICKED?\! 2. Get me another beer, love. 3. Girl, Imma treat you so right, you know ah alwez doo. Jyea. 4. Show us your tits\! Ack-hurhurhurhur. 5. Is that your car? Ack-hurhurhurhur.

Related: jerk, asshole, loser, friend zone, friend, nice, just friends, bitch, cool, guy, sex, pussy, geek, gentleman, good on paper guy, nice guys finish last, nice guy syndrome, player, virgin, dick, love, man, nerd, nice girl, stalker, sweet, women, wuss, afc, ass, awesome, dating, dude, fuck buddy, ladder theory, male, platonic, slut, tool, unrequited
Last updated: 2012.03.01

Urban English dictionary. 2013.

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